FEELING BELTZVILLE'D

A lightly salted arcade game

Feeling
Beltzville'd™

Eat the beach snacks.
Avoid everything else.

Play free in your browser, see how far Dad can make it, and fight for a place on the live leaderboard.

▶ Play in Browser View Leaderboard 📱 Get it on Google Play

🎮 Play in Your Browser

Play right here in your browser. Use the arrow keys or tap to steer, and fire whatever snack Dad is currently carrying.

The water is warm. The food is loose. Something is watching from beneath the algae.

📖 Live Scorebook

Scores come directly from the game. No fake scores. No imaginary roller dog glory. No participation trophies from the township.

🏆 High Scores

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🌭 Most Roller Dogs

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🏊 Furthest Distance

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↻ Updates every 30 seconds, whether the beach approves or not

🏅 Hall of Fame — Monthly Champions

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The scorebook is wiped clean on the 1st of every month — last month's winner gets carved into the record above.

🌭 A Perfect Day at the Beach

It's a peaceful summer day at Beltzville Beach. The water is calm, the sun is warm, and for one perfect moment, nothing is wrong.

Then SCREECHHHHHHHH.

A food truck takes the beachside bend too fast, flips end-over-end into the water, and bursts open. Dozens of roller dogs spill into the water, bobbing gently across the surface.

Dad, a man who did not read the warning sign, has seen enough. He grabs his duck float, kicks off from the beach, and paddles out after them.

Steer through the water, collect roller dogs, and travel as far as you can. Skim past danger to earn extra points, but watch out. Three hits will end your run.

From here, it's just you, the dogs, and a beach full of algae, bacteria, geese, floating diapers, and snapping turtles.

The longer you survive, the stranger the beach becomes.

Dad just wanted the roller dogs.

He's about to get Beltzville'd.

The incident.

🕹️ Take Control!

For best game play, learn what each item does before you start.

Dad moves with grace, dignity, and a small outboard motor attached to a duck. Avoid anything green, twitching, honking, floating, or suspicious — the longer you survive, the stranger the beach becomes.

Items for Survival

Every power-up is food. You can carry one at a time and use it with a single tap.

Hazards on the Beach

Many dangers float in the water. Learn their patterns before you get Beltzville'd!

Floating Bacteria Not a collectible. It may already know your name.
Algae Bloom Peak season. Soft, green, and full of secrets.
Goose Do not engage. Do not negotiate. Do not show fear.
Diaper Also not a collectible. Some mysteries should remain unsolved.
Snapping Turtle Give it room. It was here before you and will remain after the concession stand closes.

🏆 Scoring

Score adds up the whole run. Here's exactly what it's worth, and how to multiply it.

Score, roller dogs eaten, and distance traveled each rank on their own leaderboard — a good run can podium more than once. Keep going, climb the Scorebook, and do not look directly into the water.

💀 Game Over

You have three hits. When all three are gone, the run ends. Dad's final illness card appears, and your score is recorded.

Better luck next beach day!

Play & Share

The beach is not going anywhere, and neither is Dad. Play it in your browser, climb the Scorebook, and spread the misery.

▶ Play in Browser View Scorebook 📱 Get it on Google Play

Share the misery:
#FeelingBeltzvilled  ·  #DadHadAGoodRun